Consultant Humor by John Lazar

Consultant Humor
by John Lazar

John Lazar, an Associate of The McNeill Group and co-editor of the International Journal of Coaching in Organizations (IJCO), circulated the following recently:

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had eight people steering and one person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an incredible amount of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering superintendents, and one assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Program, with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower. We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program. The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

Principle of John B. Lazar & Associates, John is an ICF Master Certified executive coach (MCC) in Chicago. He is publisher and co-editor of the International Journal of Coaching in Organizations (IJCO), a new biannual publication on executive coaching. For info about the journal, contact . Inquiries can also be sent to the managing editor Jan Hause at or co-executive editor Bill Bergquist at .